Email Limericks

there once was a pigsty on ray
with two straight boys, two girls and a gay
so dawn called a meeting
to issue a beating
so we'd all remember our bitch day
-Eli

there is a young girl named jessie
who hates when her house gets messy
so she brought out her whip
and gave it a rip
to make the culprits confess
-Eli

there once was a limey named ed
and tupperware filled him with dread
his meals all in bowls
show portion control
he tosses leftovers instead
–joe

there once was a homo named joe
who everyone wished had a fro
he sure could bake
a nice pudding cake
but he couldn't stop saying "hey bro"
- Eli

there once was a lady named dawn
when she cleans, in a flash, mess is gone
you blink: mopped are floors
you snap: got the mo'er
but damn! there's a shoe in the lawn
- Joe

There once was a puss called Duncan
He sqwarked and he squealed till his grub come
One day he persisted
Till Ed's mind got a-twisted
And now he's locked in the dunjun.
-ED

Their once was dog named Max
who paraded himself as a cat
One day he goofed
When he forgettfully woofed
A blunder that we can call lax
-Ed

There once was a kitty named Pilgrim
And next to her mate Max she looks real slim
She hates his brother
(They cause quite a stir)
I think it's because she can't fufill him?
-Joe

Dawn: ‘I like these here rhyming poems!’

Joe: ‘limericks my sweet lipschen, limericks.’